- Bea Christiaens, Coach
Gaining Inner Peace Your Own Way
Updated: Feb 5, 2019
Did you know that inner peace is one of the most researched topics today? With how
demanding our society is for us to be perfect, it does not come as a surprise as
individuals seek to find peace within themselves. Being at peace requires a lot of
practice and habit changes but it is not impossible.
Why Is Inner Peace Important?
From coaching wellness and emotional intelligence, I learned from my clients that it
is never enough to just keep moving forward when it comes to achieving goals.
When one has a goal, it is not only about committing or accomplishing a series of
action steps but to actually find a balance in life and gain ones fulfillment in the end.
Can one truly be happy when one has reached a goal? If done right, yes. Having
inner peace is one of the foundations one needs to attain that balance and
fulfillment. The way we think and put meaning to things also plays a huge role in
gaining inner peace. Things like stress from uncontrollable sources or even failure
to self motivate due to lack of self confidence has become one of the hindrances of a
person from fully succeeding. This is due to absence or shortage of inner peace. Our
minds work in a way to always support personal preferences, sometimes even
forgetting that there are other ways or other perspectives. When situations do not
come in our favor, we end up feeling stressed or confused about what is right and
what is wrong just because we feel negatively. This type of mindset has resulted
only to stress and limitations on personal potential. Therefore, achieving peace of
mind has become a part of my coaching program to help clients go thru the
complications of life situations and finally be at peace as they target a new life for
themselves.
What Is Inner Peace, Really? How Do You Know If You Have It?
Inner peace is not as complicated to understand as most people think it is. Just
because we cant physically see it doesn’t mean that it is difficult to achieve. So, lets
start by explaining what inner peace is:
“Inner peace (or peace of mind) refers to a deliberate state of psychological
or spiritual calm despite the potential presence of stressors. Being "at peace"
is considered by many to be healthy (homeostasis) and the opposite of being
stressed or anxious, a state where our mind performs at an optimal level
with a positive outcome. Peace of mind is thus generally associated with bliss
happiness and contentment.” – Wikipedia
In short, inner peace means not having to be stressed even in bad situations. People
who have peace of mind have a strong sense of understanding and is very open
minded. They do not let negativity get the best of them because they understand
that events are just events, and people are just people getting affected. They also
know that conflicts can be resolved if addressed fairly, therefore, people who have
inner peace do not judge self, other people, or situations. Because of this, their
appreciation to things heightens and they tend to extend this positive feeling to their
surrounding. It sounds difficult to achieve but its all a matter of knowing how you
deal and perceive things.
5 Ways To Achieve Inner Peace.
Be Flexible With Your Emotions. Understand 3 Sides Of The Story.
When an unwanted situation arises we tend to react right away before we try to
understand all sides of the story. Lack of understanding can result to stress and
miscommunication, which may not have been necessary in the first place.
Remember, our emotions come from the meaning we put into things, therefore,
learning to take a pause and asking the question, “Before I react, what happened?”,
and then keep asking, “what else happened?”, until there are no more details left to
be said -- can make it easier for anyone to manage emotions. It will help to discover
the causes of certain events, which makes a person hold back from reacting the
wrong way. Once a person has learned how to regulate his emotions, he is one step
closer to achieving inner peace as he eliminates the habit of assuming or being
judgmental.
Focus On The Things That Matter Most.
With all the tasks that need to be done, people don’t realize that we are already
wasting time. We have so many things to do that we end up worrying on things that
does not matter. When a person has peace of mind, he has the ability to enjoy each
moment. But how can one enjoy each moment if he is bombarded with tasks, which
only benefits his inner peace minimally? Small tasks that take a lot of our time can
make us feel like we are missing out on life. When we feel that way, we end up
questioning ourselves if we are doing something valuable. This thought alone can
lead to depression or the feeling of being lost in life. To improve on this part of your
life, make a list of your priorities, once you accomplish the list you can begin
assessing your things to do and assigning enough time to each of them. Remember
to not give too much time on simple tasks and spend more on what can make your
future better.
Differentiate Things Which Are Within Our Control And Which Are Not.
Inner peace cannot be fully reached if we will always let ourselves get affected by
the things that are not within our control. Again, if we let unexpected events affect
us negatively we will only end up dwelling on something that we cannot even
change or improve. Therefore, evaluating the situation whether it is something we
can improve or not can help largely in getting inner peace. One way of doing this is
asking yourself, “Can I do something about it to make it better?” if your answer is no,
then means it cannot be controlled and stressing about it would be pointless. If your
answer is yes, then great! It is worth taking the time to make better.
Eliminate Stressors And Toxic People.
Finding inner peace is a unique journey for every person. Thru this experience, one
has to adjust as they discover more about themselves and how they put meaning to
things. However, the journey isn’t all easy. The road to inner peace requires
eliminating things or people that do not benefit in gaining inner peace. You might be
asking, “I thought inner peace is all about understanding and being fair?”, to answer
this question, the answer is yes, but having peace of mind also means deleting the
things that give us unnecessary stress. Simple things like becoming angry because of
traffic that is expected (habits), or people who force you to do the uncomfortable
things (toxic people). Failure to eliminate these stressors will only provide you with
unending and tiring self-adjustments. A way to know your stressors and who are
toxic people in your life is explained next.
Know Who You Are And Be Proud.
The most important change you should do when gaining inner peace is finally being
proud of whom you really are as a one of a kind individual. No two people are the
same and you have to accept that. In fact, you have to love that! Inner peace means
having not just understanding but being confident in who you are as a person. When
you are confident it is easier for you to understand others and how they relate to
you. It is also easier for you to react in the right way because you know well enough
what your beliefs and values are. Values and your interests are what make you who
are and it is what directs you in your decision-making. When you accept who you
are and know the values you carry, it wont be hard to decline the things that stress
you. Your road to inner peace will be smooth because you know how to say no to
bad things and you know how to say yes to greater things.
