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  • Bea Christiaens, Coach

Gaining Inner Peace Your Own Way

Updated: Feb 5, 2019

Did you know that inner peace is one of the most researched topics today? With how

demanding our society is for us to be perfect, it does not come as a surprise as

individuals seek to find peace within themselves. Being at peace requires a lot of

practice and habit changes but it is not impossible.


Why Is Inner Peace Important?

From coaching wellness and emotional intelligence, I learned from my clients that it

is never enough to just keep moving forward when it comes to achieving goals.

When one has a goal, it is not only about committing or accomplishing a series of

action steps but to actually find a balance in life and gain ones fulfillment in the end.


Can one truly be happy when one has reached a goal? If done right, yes. Having

inner peace is one of the foundations one needs to attain that balance and

fulfillment. The way we think and put meaning to things also plays a huge role in

gaining inner peace. Things like stress from uncontrollable sources or even failure

to self motivate due to lack of self confidence has become one of the hindrances of a

person from fully succeeding. This is due to absence or shortage of inner peace. Our

minds work in a way to always support personal preferences, sometimes even

forgetting that there are other ways or other perspectives. When situations do not

come in our favor, we end up feeling stressed or confused about what is right and

what is wrong just because we feel negatively. This type of mindset has resulted

only to stress and limitations on personal potential. Therefore, achieving peace of

mind has become a part of my coaching program to help clients go thru the

complications of life situations and finally be at peace as they target a new life for

themselves.


What Is Inner Peace, Really? How Do You Know If You Have It?

Inner peace is not as complicated to understand as most people think it is. Just

because we cant physically see it doesn’t mean that it is difficult to achieve. So, lets

start by explaining what inner peace is:


“Inner peace (or peace of mind) refers to a deliberate state of psychological

or spiritual calm despite the potential presence of stressors. Being "at peace"

is considered by many to be healthy (homeostasis) and the opposite of being

stressed or anxious, a state where our mind performs at an optimal level

with a positive outcome. Peace of mind is thus generally associated with bliss

happiness and contentment.” – Wikipedia


In short, inner peace means not having to be stressed even in bad situations. People

who have peace of mind have a strong sense of understanding and is very open

minded. They do not let negativity get the best of them because they understand

that events are just events, and people are just people getting affected. They also

know that conflicts can be resolved if addressed fairly, therefore, people who have

inner peace do not judge self, other people, or situations. Because of this, their

appreciation to things heightens and they tend to extend this positive feeling to their

surrounding. It sounds difficult to achieve but its all a matter of knowing how you

deal and perceive things.


5 Ways To Achieve Inner Peace.


Be Flexible With Your Emotions. Understand 3 Sides Of The Story.

When an unwanted situation arises we tend to react right away before we try to

understand all sides of the story. Lack of understanding can result to stress and

miscommunication, which may not have been necessary in the first place.

Remember, our emotions come from the meaning we put into things, therefore,

learning to take a pause and asking the question, “Before I react, what happened?”,

and then keep asking, “what else happened?”, until there are no more details left to

be said -- can make it easier for anyone to manage emotions. It will help to discover

the causes of certain events, which makes a person hold back from reacting the

wrong way. Once a person has learned how to regulate his emotions, he is one step

closer to achieving inner peace as he eliminates the habit of assuming or being

judgmental.


Focus On The Things That Matter Most.

With all the tasks that need to be done, people don’t realize that we are already

wasting time. We have so many things to do that we end up worrying on things that

does not matter. When a person has peace of mind, he has the ability to enjoy each

moment. But how can one enjoy each moment if he is bombarded with tasks, which

only benefits his inner peace minimally? Small tasks that take a lot of our time can

make us feel like we are missing out on life. When we feel that way, we end up

questioning ourselves if we are doing something valuable. This thought alone can

lead to depression or the feeling of being lost in life. To improve on this part of your

life, make a list of your priorities, once you accomplish the list you can begin

assessing your things to do and assigning enough time to each of them. Remember

to not give too much time on simple tasks and spend more on what can make your

future better.


Differentiate Things Which Are Within Our Control And Which Are Not.

Inner peace cannot be fully reached if we will always let ourselves get affected by

the things that are not within our control. Again, if we let unexpected events affect

us negatively we will only end up dwelling on something that we cannot even

change or improve. Therefore, evaluating the situation whether it is something we

can improve or not can help largely in getting inner peace. One way of doing this is

asking yourself, “Can I do something about it to make it better?” if your answer is no,

then means it cannot be controlled and stressing about it would be pointless. If your

answer is yes, then great! It is worth taking the time to make better.


Eliminate Stressors And Toxic People.

Finding inner peace is a unique journey for every person. Thru this experience, one

has to adjust as they discover more about themselves and how they put meaning to

things. However, the journey isn’t all easy. The road to inner peace requires

eliminating things or people that do not benefit in gaining inner peace. You might be

asking, “I thought inner peace is all about understanding and being fair?”, to answer

this question, the answer is yes, but having peace of mind also means deleting the

things that give us unnecessary stress. Simple things like becoming angry because of

traffic that is expected (habits), or people who force you to do the uncomfortable

things (toxic people). Failure to eliminate these stressors will only provide you with

unending and tiring self-adjustments. A way to know your stressors and who are

toxic people in your life is explained next.


Know Who You Are And Be Proud.

The most important change you should do when gaining inner peace is finally being

proud of whom you really are as a one of a kind individual. No two people are the

same and you have to accept that. In fact, you have to love that! Inner peace means

having not just understanding but being confident in who you are as a person. When

you are confident it is easier for you to understand others and how they relate to

you. It is also easier for you to react in the right way because you know well enough

what your beliefs and values are. Values and your interests are what make you who

are and it is what directs you in your decision-making. When you accept who you

are and know the values you carry, it wont be hard to decline the things that stress

you. Your road to inner peace will be smooth because you know how to say no to

bad things and you know how to say yes to greater things.


#selfacceptance #lifestyle

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